And then there's this. Heart-crushing pain rolling through me like a wave or a tempest... burning through me like an internal comet. Through my heart. Multiple times a day. Off to the Cardiologist. To Urgent Care. EKG, Echocardiogram. Test results come in. All is well. My heart is ok. No it's not. My heart is not ok. My son. Doesn't have a problem with drugs. His problem is that he got caught. His resentment is towards himself....for getting caught. He makes no mention o

The sadness, the doubling over sadness, in the grocery store, walking by the bagel bites, super pretzels, corn chips.....not buying those staples...as if he were gone, erased from the earth. Gone from my life. But he's not. But he is. My son's right there, right here, in the same zip code, and then, not. He is in his body, and then not. He is in his right mind, and then not. I wish I could explain in words to you who love me, who want to understand, what this pain, this absen